Is there another word for being past busy? How about just plain lazy? Or tired perhaps? Well, whatever the case, I've been away for another long while. Classes have been keeping me busy among other things. Kinda dating this guy, but he doesn't have a phone, his brother has it now. I don't know what type of sense that makes, but its not serious anyways. Haven't heard from him in two weeks. That's okay, I'm not in shock or anything. I do have a long time crush to holla at. Because my friend made me realize that catching crushes is the hot thing to do for 2004. She caught hers, so now I'm inspired to catch mines, after all this time. Hey, I can write a song about that! :)

I was hoping to do some creative things, like helping to contribute to a play, but those plans fell through for now. Then there was the whole starting a girl group with two of my friends. Then that fell through before it began, because of or disagreement on management before things even jumped off. They still my hearts though, but we came to the conclusion to agree to disagree on that issue, and made a pact to be supportive of whatever each of us decide to do musically. Actually we made that pact from the get go, but its just more prominent now, ya know. I tried to take my driver's test last Saturday (3/6) and messed up on the manuevering through the cones, which sucked. I am scheduled to go back on Tuesday and my "buddy for all times" has been helping me practice, and I love her for that, especially all the rough spots we've been through over the years (try: not speaking for 6 years, then you'll understand). Some people (like me for example) don't know how much someone is down for you until they come back into your life. It humbles you a lot. I'm not saying that I wasn't humble before, but much more grateful of the people who choose to be in my life. Okay, that's my profound moment for this entry. :-) I just want to get through finals this week! I have two that I have to attend, one on Tuesday and one Wednesday. But there's a take home, open book exam that I have for one of my classes that's due by Friday morning. It's for the Legal Aspects of Entrepreneurship that I'm in. The class is kinda confusing, but then again its about Business Law for small business owners, which is tricky enough in its own right. I'm glad that I changed my mind about going to school to be a lawyer, I think that the terminology alone would have killed me. Not saying that being in the College of Business is any easier. Its frightening in a way, because I may be able to graduate this December! This December, that's a big change from graduating in the Spring of 2005. If I am able to push up my last class (aka Capstone) for my minor in Entrepreneurial Studies/Family Business, I may be actually able to walk in December!!! That's hella frightening to me, because I want to do a few more things upon exiting the University of Cincinnati:
1. Get an internships somewhere!
2. Study abroad- if they still accept my application, granted that I forgot to turn it in Friday!
3. Breathe, take another good vacation or something to clear my mind and get focused
4. Do something musically- actually get a song heard, network, something!!!

I don't know if I can consider this a crisis or more of a crossroads. I guess that at the age of almost 22 would I have to worry about what I want to do with the next 40 years of my life.

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a grown ass kid..." -Kanye West, Through the Wire

I believe that's how that line goes. I dunno. But its a hot cd, so different than listening to the objectification of women in other rap songs and what not (not claiming that's all of them, but some). He's so different, but yet so accepted. I want to be like that, stand out from the standards but get recognized for being different, and innovative. My goodness, I am itiching to get into the music business. Music is what I love, that's what gets me going in the morning and calms me down at night. It's my life force, and gives me the inspiration to write. Like I'm doing now. It feels kinda strange to actually be posting an entry. Things seem so hectic in my life, but yet so slow going. I am definately in a crossroads in my life, and I'm afraid of the outcome(s) of my decision. So the best thing to now is to put my faith into my judgement and just see what develops.

But for now, I got a paper to finish and to study for. I'm still on my mission. Just trying to do what I gotta do.